Monday, 10 May 2010

“Well, I am an extremely beautiful person.”

Morrissey. What a beautiful man. I adore him, I really do. I am probably the only person on the planet who finds him sexier now than when he was younger (he's got that sort of distinguished gentleman thing going for him, even though he's a super-vegan weirdo). I love his voice. I love how sarcastic he is. I love everything he says.

So in honour of that, I'm going to post a selection of a few of my favourite Morrissey quotes. did a feature on this a few months ago, which is where I got these from, but even if you're not a Morrissey fan, I think you'll enjoy these.

“Age shouldn’t affect you. You’re either marvellous or you’re boring, regardless of your age.”

“I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong.”

“I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke.”

“Whenever I go past Mcdonalds I get very, very angry.”

“I am capable of looking on the bright side - I just don’t do it very often.”

“Doing nothing gives me great pleasure. And believe me, I succeed wonderfully in it.”

“Life would be so colourful if only I had a drink problem.”

“Long hair is an unpardonable offense which should be punishable by death.”

“Bob Geldof is a nauseating character. Band Aid was the most self-righteous platform ever in the history of popular music.”

“When I'm lying in my bed I think about life and I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me.”

“I think I must be, absolutely, a total sex object. In every sense of the word.”

“I have seen one or two psychiatrists. They just sit and nod and doodle.”

“[Dance music is] the refuge for the mentally deficient. It's made by dull people for dull people.”

“I'm just happy being dumpy. Dumpy, fat and middle-aged.”

“I'm not very good at being dull.”

“Yes I have had a tan, actually. I went to Los Angeles and got one there, but it didn't make it back to Britain. You're not allowed to come through customs with a tan.”

“I lie a lot - it's really useful.”

“He referred to me as an 'insufferable puffed-up prat'. This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother.”

“I'm dramatically underexposed. I demand more attention!”

“I've always assumed there's a dark river flowing beneath my fans' desires.”

“[Sigmund Freud] just made people feel so neurotic about their lives. I mean, if you dreamt about a lampshade, it meant you wanted to be whipped by the local vicar or something.”

“In England, pop music seems now to be exclusively for children. If an artist is no good, why is it necessary to have that artist repeatedly rammed in our face?”

“Don't talk to me about people who are 'nice' cause I have spent my whole life in ruins because of people who are 'nice'.”

“What's the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning? Wish I hadn't.”

“Artists aren't really people. I'm actually 40 per cent papier mache.”

“I do think it's possible to go through life and never fall in love, or find someone who loves you.”

“I normally live in Los Angeles - if you can call it normal living.”

“I've never intended to be controversial but it's very easy to be controversial in pop music because nobody ever is.”

“My parents were worried about me, certainly when I became so deeply interested in music and people like the New York Dolls who, at the time, were very peculiar indeed.”

“That was the problem with the 'celibate' word because they don't consider for a moment that you'd rather not be, but you just are. I was never a sexual person.”

“I lost myself to music at a very early age, and I remained there.”

"Robert Smith is a whingebag."

“Music is like a drug, but there are no rehabilitation centres.”

“I just feel that when all is said and done, I am not insane.”

"Sometimes I wish I was just a simple drunkard."

“When they bury me in a church and chuck earth on my grave, I’d like the words ‘Well, at least he tried’ engraved on my tombstone.”

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