My dreams never come true...luckily.

Because I tend to have really vivid, hectic dreams, last year I started writing down the really exciting ones when I woke up in a morning. I keep a little notebook on my bedside table, and I write them down really quickly - usually when I'm still half asleep - so the writing is often illegible, but it's really interesting reading back through it because it's like reading a diary. Even when you don't write it all down, those few words can trigger the memory of the whole dream, and my dreams are usually quite random, so it's fascinating.

Here are a few examples (exactly word for word what I wrote in my usually half-asleep state - I promise you, I am a better writer than this normally):

7.8.09

Dreamt about Karl Lagerfeld! So random. I can't remember most of it, but there was me, Karl and other people at the top of a mountain, and Karl wanted to give us all a piggyback down the mountain, one person on his back then I had to jump on top of that person. Weird.

12.8.09

First I was a Land Before Time dinosaur on a journey. Then I had a weird jaw on the back of my knee - so disgusting. Then I was a synchronised swimmer.

18.11.09

I was Robert Langdon in a church or castle or monastry or something, trying to find something, but I got caught. When I managed to get away, I went down the road a long way to a village and stayed in a pub where everyone was really opinionated and rude and weird. I think I was supposed to meet someone when I was there, but instead I was sorting out some recycling, putting all my clothes into one box and plastic into another. Very random...

21.4.10

I just had a pretty terrifying dream that everyone on the planet had their own superpowers like in Fantastic Four (apart from me, it seemed) and everyone was trying to kill each other. We were on a bus trying to travel to safety, but then we reached a river without a bridge and sort of bounced over it, but then it was a dead end and we had to get out and fight. It was quite scary.

24.7.10

I dreamt that I got my whole arms and chest tattooed and I really loved it until I got home and realised my parents are not going to be pleased with this. I also dreamt that I was in a Chinese takeaway but they kept giving you your food on plates and I was like, I would've gone in a restaurant if I wanted this. I was waiting for ages, so I asked how long it would be and the guy said 25 minutes, so I said that I wanted to cancel my order and get a refund, or at least half a refund because I'd already eaten half of it. So I had to pay £3.50 and I paid it in pennies to punish him.

29.7.10

I had a dream that Gloucester had flooded and me and Rees (my brother) were about to go on holiday to Northumberland, and were worried that it was going to flood there too.

2.11.10

Last night I had a really complicated dream, but the bit I remember is right before I woke up I was a primary school teacher and I was waiting for some kids to come and join the class and the kids already in the class seemed to be having a good time and all liked me. That was nice.

As I want to be a primary school teacher, that last one is really the only one that I want to come true.

What I want to know is where does this stuff come from? I mean, I haven't seen The Land Before Time since I was about 8, I doubt Karl Lagerfeld has ever given a piggyback in his entire life, and I don't even know where Gloucester is. So what's the deal, brain? How come you go so crazy at night?

Does anyone else have creepily random dreams? Tell me some.